busaikko ([info]busaikko) wrote in [info]sga_flashfic,
2008-07-04 06:51:00
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What Comes Around (busaikko, PG, first aid challenge)

Title: What Comes Around
Author: busaikko
Rating: PG for medical stuff; Gen (or should I say Genii?)
Summary: S2 AU. Imagine Médecins Sans Frontières. . . the Pegasus version.
A/N: Why, yes, there *is* a story that comes after this. . . *hunches over keyboard*




PAGE 0001

Report on the Culling of ___M7S-218___:

The planet moon M7S-218 was culled on 08 - 234 - 1/34 (Genii standard) .

Culling began at ___dawn + 8___. The Gate was locked until ___dawn + 13___.

The first Homeworld First Response (HFR) teams arrived at dawn + 13.2 . This response time is excellent average poor .

Overview:

The nine (9) HFR teams had at their disposal two (2) flying vehicles and five (5) wheeled multi-terrain vehicles. This enabled a wide area to be covered in a very short time. We had a professional staff of ten (10) trauma surgeons (Manaran, Genii, Satedan, and Vra), thirteen (13) paramedics, and twenty-five (25) qualified nurses, as well as all available volunteer staff from nineteen (19) medical facilities. We were able to quickly triage patients and remove them to appropriate trauma centers, three portable on-world units and four off-world (Homeworld Center for Paediatrics, Genii Traumatic Burn Center, Homeworld Emergency Care, and Manara General Health). The Death in Transit rate was 38%, significantly lower than on post-culling rescues without flying vehicles.

No live Wraith were encountered.

There was evidence of significant resistance around the medium-sized city nearest the gate. The culling was apparently terminated midway. There was evidence of off-world assistance, possibly Genii.

Statistics:

Treatment of the injured and incapable (Deaths in Transit):
Men: 249 (98)
Women: 321 (95)
Children: 93 (53)
Infants: 23 (15)
Total: 686 (261, DiT 38%)

Reported injuries:
Partial Wraith feedings: 186
Central nervous system injuries: 97
Chest injuries: 123
Pelvis injuries: 57
Major extremity injuries: 173
Multiple-system injuries: 65
Mental shock and/or suffering: 48
Unknown: 28

Patients with comorbid factors: 345 (includes feeding-induced aging trauma)

Secondary deterioration reported: 226

Transfer of patients -- on-world:
Surgical Unit 1: 150
Surgical Unit 2: 100
Surgical Unit 3: 150

Transfer of patients -- off-world:
Homeworld Center for Paediatrics: 116
Genii Traumatic Burn Center: 45
Genii Emergency and Long-term Care: 77
Manara General Health: 50



PAGE 0241

PATIENT OFFWORLD TRANSFER FORM

Name: UNKNOWN (G2374-M-340-M7S-218)
Sex: MALE
Age: UNKNOWN (MIDDLE AGED)
Weight: 78.67P
Height: 289.45j
Homeworld: UNKNOWN
Transferred from: M7S-218 Surgical Unit 3

Kin/Contact information: UNKNOWN

Notes:
UNKNOWN patient, no known kin, no known planet of origin. Skin color light brown, likely not native of M7S-218, possibly Genii. Hair color brown. Eye color grey/green. Distinguishing marks: scar (neck, right, possible Iratus feeding scar), scar (leg, left, possible knife), scar (arm, right, possible Iratus allergy). Possessions: trousers (1 pair, black, ripped, MACHINE KNIT, separate undergarment, red/white striped, MACHINE KNIT), shirt (1, black, plain, MACHINE KNIT); knife (1, Satedan). No identifying labels; no ID; no tracing/tracking devices; no implants.

History of present injury:
Occurred: on M7S-218, in the 08 - 234 - 1/34 (Genii standard) culling
Time between injury and medical attention: +/- 7 hours
Blood pressure: HS/AD (RISING)
Pulse: 60/bG (SLOW)
Temperature: 312.15 absolute (RISING)
Respiratory rate: 16/bG (FAST)
Initial diagnosis: Airway clear, independent breathing, deep puncture injury left thigh, pupils uneven, Genii Trauma Score 7 (eyes open to painful stimulus, motor response to painful stimulus, verbal response nonlanguage sounds (as per Hoffan Lingual Standard)), possible traumatic brain injury, possible spinal cord injury
Recommendation: IMMEDIATE TRANSFER to Genii Emergency and Long-Term Care for diagnostics and possible surgery

Treatment given: haemorrhage suppression and wound care, treatment for shock, immobilisation for transport

Status of patient when transferred: UNCONSCIOUS

Referring first responder: Tsanna'w'hi byKa (Homeworld General, EMT / vol.)

Receiving medical representative: Lonan Ran (Homeworld Health and Trauma Center via Homeworld Paediatric)



Dearest Cousin:

I hope this finds you alive and well. We are glad of the latest reprieve, even though all we can do is lick our wounds. Every night I find myself praying that if God is merciful She will strike down every Wraith that walks. I fear for my soul; your own Nanama would have heavy words for me, and scriptures about Understanding and Balance. But I would rejoice. I would dance on the bones on the Wraith.

Anyway! I am inclosing datafiles and videofiles of a mystery patient we received accidentally after M7S-218. I'd appreciate your running the palm and retina scans against your military database, or maybe known mercenaries? I haven't heard of any official Genii involvement in the expulsion of the Wraith, but I can read between the lines -- real heroism took place there, cousin, the sort we need more of.

Our patient is aphasic but other than that fairly clever, good with the younger ones, hard-working, surely missed. But as you know, repatriation is mandatory after a month -- these cullings stretch our resources to and beyond breaking point. We're meant to be first responders, after all. We cannot rebuild societies or lives or cities, just bodies, and that not very well these days. Pray for me, I'm starting to understand despair. But I would feel better if you could find my mystery Genii's kin!

Love to your brother and your little ones, and do visit again soon (bring those taha noodles!),

Qu'tsi-ma Radim



//StartTransmission//
DataFileTransfer&L.Radim#E.Weir: G2374-M-340-M7S-218/video1.2.3.4.5.6/SIMPLE
DataFileTransfer&L.Radim#E.Weir: G2374-M-340-M7S-218/DATA/SIMPLE
DataFile&L.Radim#E.Weir: Greetings
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Dr Weir:

When last we spoke, I gave you my condolences on behalf of my people on your loss.
Now I think I would like to give you something rather different. No strings attached,
I think you say; you also say, from the goodness of my heart? I would like you to
remember that the Genii understand honour, and love, and family.

You can contact me the usual way. I will be waiting.

Ladon
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
//EndTransmission//
Tags: author: busaikko, challenge: first aid

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  • 49 comments

[info]naye

July 3 2008, 22:01:57 UTC 3 years ago

Oh, wow, this was cool! Love the look at Pegasus cultures working together against the Wraith, and the story all wrapped up in official numbers and terse language. The letter from Ladon's cousin manages to say so much about Genii culture and life in the Pegasus galaxy, and the last transmission just makes me smile. Awesome fic!

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:31:22 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I like to think that there is a complex social culture in Pegasus (and that the Genii are a big part of it). Glad it's not just me!

[info]almost_clara

July 3 2008, 22:09:52 UTC 3 years ago

Oooh! Excellent start!
*Mops your brow and feeds you truffles*

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:33:01 UTC 3 years ago

Well.... One of the very first McShepics I wrote is the story that was supposed to come after. But I never finished it, and then I started cannibalizing it. Er. So it just haunts my hard drive.... *plays with concept, eats truffles*

[info]anatsuno

July 3 2008, 22:24:32 UTC 3 years ago

oooooh. *chomps at the bit!* SO GOOD. *paws at screen* So evocative! and, uh, like, like -- like the start of something great!

Though I can almost see it be all she wrote, and yeah, that'd work, too.

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:34:49 UTC 3 years ago

Heh! So you want the rest? Haven't I harmed John enough for you?... *evil grin* (I do have the rest of the story, but it's old and dusty and dismembered. *ponders*)

[info]anatsuno

3 years ago

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[info]gaffsie

July 3 2008, 22:47:22 UTC 3 years ago

Oooooooh, and there will be more about green-eyed mystery man? It's like Christmas has come early, or something.

I love getting a look at Pegasus culture through their own official documents. It's so terse and real.

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:45:45 UTC 3 years ago

I love Pegasus culture! There needs to be more of it! *contemplates Stargate: Atlantis -- The Office!*

But are his eyes green? I am rotten with eye colours, but to me they're more... greyish? *ponders* There used to be more about this story... it's a ragged mess, though, sadly!

[info]gaffsie

3 years ago

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[info]busaikko

3 years ago

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[info]gaffsie

3 years ago

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[info]busaikko

3 years ago

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[info]gaffsie

3 years ago

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[info]busaikko

3 years ago

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[info]ceitie

July 3 2008, 23:23:30 UTC 3 years ago

Awesometastic is the only word I can use to describe this. I love the letter from Ladon's cousin the best, but medical reports are also incredibly well-done. I hope you post the next part soon!

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:46:32 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! *g* I'll get on it.....

[info]sageness

July 3 2008, 23:28:34 UTC 3 years ago

oh, very cool. *looks forward to what comes after*

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:46:46 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! *works*

[info]zoniduck

July 4 2008, 00:51:49 UTC 3 years ago

Oooooooh... Yes, more of this, please! Thank you so much for sharing this. :-)

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:47:02 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks for reading! *works*

[info]sholio

July 4 2008, 02:51:58 UTC 3 years ago

Oh wow, I simply don't have enough praise for this! I adore docufic and outsider POVs, and I simply love the medical forms, the non-Earth units of measurement, the glimpses of a galactic culture that is quietly doing its own thing without Atlantis being involved at all. And I also love how John's part in the story is revealed in small glimpses, and we have to put the pieces together.

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:48:32 UTC 3 years ago

Heh! The non-Earth measurements were very useful -- my very own medico-babble! (Though the temperature was straight Kelvin *cheats*) I like to think that the Pegasus society is more advanced than we see. Colour me hopeful, I guess! Thanks for reading!

[info]xparrot

July 4 2008, 04:45:32 UTC 3 years ago

Ahh, such fic is almost a little painful, in a 'what might have been' way - complexity of cultures the show will never give us, when there's so much vast potential. But fascinating! and I love the glimpse of Ladon, and his cousin (he's such an awesome char, really...)

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:49:24 UTC 3 years ago

Yes, it would be lovely to see real functioning Pegasus intercultural exchanges and things.... Ah, well! (And I do like Ladon myself!)

[info]tatsumaki

July 4 2008, 05:11:19 UTC 3 years ago

Mmm, documentation fic! This reveals so much and yet tells tantalizingly little. I look forward to whatever may follow!

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:50:08 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I'll try to follow up....

[info]adannu

July 4 2008, 09:22:34 UTC 3 years ago

Oooh. I love this look at what Pegasus could be outside Atlantis's perspective -- and having the story told in official reports and emails adds an extra touch of realism. Especially Ladim's cousin; letters from the front indeed.

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:51:02 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I like to think that the people of Pegasus take care of their own... and that the Genii are more complex than in canon....

[info]springwoof

July 4 2008, 10:38:52 UTC 3 years ago

how clever! I liked all the different ways you found to tell the story, all the different POVs, from documents to personal letters to email. I liked all the glimpses into Pegasus cultures, and the things you told about those cultures through the details you had people notice (i.e. shirt (1, black, plain, MACHINE KNIT). ) And I liked seeing that in some eyes the Genii are heroes!

[info]busaikko

July 4 2008, 10:55:39 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! I like to think that the Genii are integral to the complex Pegasus social structure... and also of course to industry (my guess, based on costuming, would be that the Genii military uniforms are machine knit, while the regular people wear homespun. *betrays background as textile translator*). Some people watch the show and wonder who's sleeping with whom... I also tend to wonder where the canning plants or textile mills are.

[info]facetofcathy

July 4 2008, 13:09:56 UTC 3 years ago

Fantastic. Love the slight oiliness of Ladon Radim. Not sure I believe his 'no strings attached'

The statistics part is chilling with it's high mortality rates in children.

The whole thing is fantastic and an awesome tease.

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 00:16:39 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! Most of the fatalities were of children and the elderly (er--and the *new* elderly, as it were). Ladon doesn't even need to ask for Elizabeth's future goodwill: it's in the bag, and he knows it *g* Just like whatever the Genii equivalent of Christmas is!

[info]less_star

July 4 2008, 16:22:01 UTC 3 years ago

Really cool. I work in health-care, and I think you did a great job with the report, alien but still somehow recognizable if that makes nay sense). And I can't wait to read the sequel :)

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 00:18:16 UTC 3 years ago

*wipes brow* I'm glad to hear that the medical stuff worked, as I *don't work in health care at all. (I may have cribbed from various sources *looks shifty*) Will work on more.... Thanks for reading!

[info]sgafanficreader

July 4 2008, 23:41:04 UTC 3 years ago

Oh this is awesome! I love how you did the medical forms. I would like to know how John ended up being seperated from the others - I'm almost afraid to ask if they made it back to Atlantis ... But it's awesome as it is.

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 00:13:14 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! The rest of his team got culled, I'm afraid. But... yeah, they made it back to Atlantis eventually *g* Thanks for reading!

[info]diamond_raven

July 5 2008, 00:33:28 UTC 3 years ago

This was very cool! It's really too bad that we don't have more fics focusing on the rest of the galaxy and how life is conducted amongst the people who interact with the Lanteans, and not just see those interactions through Lantean eyes.

The fact that so many people worked together after the culling was neat to see and having the whole thing told from an outsider's POV who was describing one of our people in the same general, objective way that they usually describe outsiders was a neat twist.

I do have a question though: When you described the materials John was wearing, why weren't his dog tags on him? You said he had no ID, but he would never take them off, especially when out in the field, and nobody would take them off him unless he was dead (and then they certainly wouldn't leave his body behind). Also, what about his tac vest and gun, and more importantly, that black wrist band and his watch?

*is curious*

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 01:10:19 UTC 3 years ago

* overthinks everything *

The short answer is, that by the time the team (which was culled) took over the hive ship, escaped to Atlantis, and mounted a search, John's possessions had been scavenged. They did find the man with his stuff, who said he got it off a corpse... and the dead were already being mass cremated. There is, of course, a longer answer *g* (I like to think that they bought back his dogtags and watch and gun with MREs, and that Elizabeth and Rodney delivered them to Sheppard Sr. But that's just me!)

I love thinking about these things: what Pegasus society is like, how different worlds and cultures interact. Wouldn't mind seeing that in canon!

Thanks for reading!

[info]alleonh

July 5 2008, 04:19:16 UTC 3 years ago

I have nothing but pure love for this little guy XD

I loved it, and while I would love to see that whole story behind it (as well as its conclusion) it actually stands great just as it is.

And I LOVE LADON XD I know he's kind of a shifty guy in the show, but I just can't help liking him (maybe 'cuz he's pretty darn cute X3 lol) but you have his voice perfect in his e-mail to Weir.

Great job!

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 12:59:44 UTC 3 years ago

Hurrah for the Ladon love! The Genii have such potential to be more than lurking psychopaths *nudges TPTB* And thanks for the story love as well -- glad you enjoyed!

[info]kiku65

July 5 2008, 12:54:42 UTC 3 years ago

There is nothing about this fic I don't like (which is pretty bloody rare, as others might tell you ^^)

Absolutely perfect.

[info]busaikko

July 5 2008, 13:00:09 UTC 3 years ago

Thank you! *feeds good things to your happy-cat icon*

[info]pansychubb

July 5 2008, 20:14:42 UTC 3 years ago

Very interesting - nice concept! But, er - Sheppard? I didn't know who you were describing, and I thought maybe it might be Ford.

*shrugs* Good anyways!

:-)
-Pansy Chubb (aka LilRicki)

[info]busaikko

July 6 2008, 23:27:59 UTC 3 years ago

Thanks for reading! I figured it would be a bit confusing... there was only one line, where they mentioned the Iratus bug scars, that really marked their 'unknown' as Sheppard. But it was mostly Gen-for-Genii, so I don't think you missed much *g*

[info]pansychubb

3 years ago

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[info]busaikko

3 years ago

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[info]madeline871

July 7 2008, 01:10:35 UTC 3 years ago

You made me gasp with surprise when the wounded man was described! I love the way you've told the story through reports and forms and letters. And I don't trust that Ladon Radim one bit. I can't wait to see what comes next.

[info]busaikko

July 7 2008, 10:53:27 UTC 3 years ago

Heh! Poor Ladon *cuddles him* So very, very hard to be trusted when you're Genii.... We'll see what happens to John *g*
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