kageygirl ([info]kageygirl) wrote in [info]sga_flashfic,
2005-05-02 00:28:00
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  • Music: Linkin Park, "Numb"

Etched, by kageygirl, for the Blood challenge

Title: Etched
Author: [info]kageygirl
Rating: PG
Category: Gen
Spoiler: "Rising"
Summary: Some marks are indelible.


Etched

There was a pitted irregularity along the edge of one of the silencers--John felt it scrape his skin when he ran his thumb over it. He wasn't sure whether it had been there before, whether Sumner had picked up the gouge somewhere along the line, or whether the Wraith blood had eaten into the plastic.

The rust-red flakes had come off easily enough, sluicing away under a stream of water, leaving the aluminum shiny and unmarked.

The blue-black streaks had been thick and tarry and had resisted John's efforts to clean them off. They'd finally dissolved when he dangled Sumner's dog tags in the ocean, on an impulse, and the metal ended up dull and discolored where the Wraith's blood had stained it. When he closed his hand around the tags, they vanished from sight, but the edges bit into his palm.

On the bad days, John could still feel the phantom brand when he clenched his fist.
Tags: author: kageygirl, challenge: bloody

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  • 19 comments

[info]mmmchelle

May 2 2005, 10:56:59 UTC 7 years ago

Oh.

Such lovely, understated guilt.

You're hot when you write short and sharp. /g/

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 13:45:52 UTC 7 years ago

LOL. Thanks, chelle--first thing that popped into my head when the challenge went up, but it didn't seem to want to be any longer than this.

[info]kylielee1000

May 2 2005, 11:48:04 UTC 7 years ago

On the bad days, John could still feel the phantom brand when he clenched his fist.

Oh, it cuts...

This is wonderful, with the images of color, shininess and dullness, existing and not existing, memory and reality.

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 14:00:02 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, thank you, Mistress. I think "contrast" is one of my writer-kinks. *g*

(FFoaM squee!)

[info]coreopsis

May 2 2005, 13:56:20 UTC 7 years ago

awwww...John. *sigh*

You're good. :-)

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 16:40:48 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, thanks. ::blushes::

[info]cathexys

May 2 2005, 15:20:03 UTC 7 years ago

water and blood and cuting and branding and wariths and guilt...wow! so much in so little space!

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 17:09:55 UTC 7 years ago

Hee, thanks! I don't usually go in for the short-short ficlets, for I am too verbose and opinionated. *g*

[info]cathexys

May 2 2005, 17:12:21 UTC 7 years ago

i have this entire post in my head about short and long fic writers and what they need and how they often fail when doing the other [in my mind it's the hemingway/faulkner theory]...but you definitely succeeded with the evocative and imagery and...

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 18:27:22 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, that's funny--I've been working on a post in my head (isn't it amazing how well-thought-out and articulate the posts in one's head are?) about short and long fics and the distillation or diffusion of emotional content in each. So now I thank you both for the fb and for making me think meta thoughts. *g*

[info]cathexys

May 2 2005, 18:29:35 UTC 7 years ago

hey :-) if you write it i don't have to...i'll just commentspam your lj :D

[info]kageygirl

May 3 2005, 03:11:25 UTC 7 years ago

LOL. Seems only fair, somehow. *g*

[info]randommagic

May 2 2005, 16:48:14 UTC 7 years ago

I love the way you just seem to be able to see into John's head. So much guilt, locked away where no-one else can see it.

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 17:53:33 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, thank you kindly. *g*

[info]thegrrrl2002

May 2 2005, 17:11:28 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, nice and angsty. Poor John.

[info]kageygirl

May 2 2005, 17:54:47 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks, Grrrl. ::pets John::

[info]jenlev

May 2 2005, 23:03:32 UTC 7 years ago

this is lovely and poignant. the quietness of tone allows the edge of his distress to show in the imagery.

[info]kageygirl

May 3 2005, 03:23:30 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, thank you, Jen. *g*

[info]maching_monkey

May 3 2005, 17:48:34 UTC 7 years ago

That was excellent. Wonderfully quiet and understated, like chelle said.

Leah
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