Wendy ([info]dannylurks) wrote in [info]sga_flashfic,
2005-04-13 21:02:00
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Close Contact by dannylurks

Title: Close Contact
Rating: PG13
Pairings: none
Spoilers: none

Author’s notes: This is my first attempt at a [info]sga_flashfic challenge. Hope it’s okay!



Close Contact

“I don’t see why I can’t go and get a shower first,” protested Rodney McKay as he ineffectually tried to wipe his sleeve. He shuddered. The stuff was everywhere. In his hair, on his jacket, on his pants, in his pants (and he really didn’t want to think about that), all over his hands, his face… in fact every square inch of his body was covered in slimy, sticky goo. It made his skin crawl.

“I need to get a sample,” said Beckett, wincing as he scraped some of the gloop into a petrie dish.

“It could be corrosive… poisonous. I need a shower!” Rodney whined.

“I doubt it,” said Carson, patiently. “You’d be showing some ill effects – burns or a fever – by now if that was the case.”

“But you’re not sure.” Rodney was beginning to panic. He just had to wash this stuff off. He’d never felt so dirty in his life. “You’re playing fast and loose with my health, Carson. I demand a second opinion.”

“Nothing wrong with his vocal chords,” said Sheppard, as he walked into the infirmary.

“Unfortunately not,” agreed Beckett wryly, going over to a workbench and putting some of the gloop on a slide. “Just let me have a look at this, then I should be able to let you go.”

“So how are you feeling?” asked Sheppard.

“Sticky. Revolting. Filthy. And this power-mad Scotsman won’t let me go and get cleaned up.”

“I won’t be long,” said Beckett. “I know it’s difficult for you, but try and be patient.”

Rodney looked down at the floor. The stuff was dripping off him and leaving small puddles on the tiles. It looked as pathetic as he felt. “Why me?” he muttered to Sheppard. “Why, when it had the choice of you, Teyla and Ford, did it pick me? It could have gone for your gene. Why me?”

“Don’t know.” John shrugged. “Perhaps it liked you?”

“It’s got a funny way of showing it. It comes bouncing along like an animated jello, jumps up and down a few times in front of me… then it sneezes… or spits. And I end up looking like a refugee from Ghostbusters.”

“Yeah, you certainly got slimed real good, McKay,” said Sheppard, nodding and not quite stifling a grin.

“A-ha,” murmured Beckett.

Rodney glanced over at the Doctor who was still peering down a microscope. “I don’t think I actually want to know which orifice this stuff came from, if that’s all right with you, Carson, I’d just like to wash it off. Just tell me if it’s going to have any lasting effect on my well-being.”

Sheppard grinned. “Oh, but I want to know, Doc. The grosser the better. Do tell.”

“Ah, well,” said the Doctor carefully as he stood up and walked back across the room. “The… er… gloop… isn’t saliva, or phlegm…” He stopped in front of Rodney and shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“Then what the hell is it?” Rodney’s voice has risen at least an octave.

Carson licked his lips. “Well, let’s just say the alien did like you…. A lot.”
Tags: author: dannylurks, challenge: first contact

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  • 44 comments

[info]karendreamer

April 13 2005, 20:13:37 UTC 7 years ago

ROFLMAO.........::::wipes tears away:::::........:::::tries to catch breath to type:::::.....this is wonderful!! Thank you so much.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:36:24 UTC 7 years ago

Thank you! I'm glad you thought it was funny. ;-)

[info]coreopsis

April 13 2005, 20:44:22 UTC 7 years ago

bwahahahaha! Awesome. And your Carson voice is excellent. *g*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:36:57 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks, it's always especially nice to know when someone thinks I've "got" one of the characters. :-)

[info]sweeneybird

April 13 2005, 21:00:42 UTC 7 years ago

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:37:13 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks. :-)

[info]casspeach

April 13 2005, 21:17:17 UTC 7 years ago

Awww, poor Rodney, he's not going to live this down in a hurry, is he? Great dialogue

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:38:02 UTC 7 years ago

No, he's not, is he? Bless him. :-)

Thanks. I particularly like writing dialogue, so it's nice to know you enjoyed it.

[info]spikedluv

April 13 2005, 21:37:48 UTC 7 years ago

LOLOL OMG! I think I hurt myself laughing. From the 'power-mad Scotsman' to “Well, let’s just say the alien did like you…. A lot. *snicker*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:39:07 UTC 7 years ago

Oh, I hope you didn't! ;-)

Thanks. Glad you thought it was funny anyway, even if it did endanger your health. ;-)

[info]kimaken

April 13 2005, 21:40:02 UTC 7 years ago

Really cute and a clever McKay/alien "romance"! LOL

Great Carson voice. And Sheppard's going to get some great mileage on the tease-o-meter with this one!

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:40:25 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks. Though I think the romance was a little one-sided. ;-)

Thanks again - it's always nice to know when someone thinks I've got a character right.

And you're right - John would have a field day with this. ;-)

[info]kitakatzz

April 13 2005, 21:55:46 UTC 7 years ago

Ngaaaah!
Poor, poor astrophysicist who is going to be TEASED TO DEATH.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:41:00 UTC 7 years ago

I know, I know. I'm horrible to him, aren't I? ;-)

Thanks for commenting. :-)

[info]twisted_vergule

April 13 2005, 22:20:10 UTC 7 years ago

OMG, bwahaha!!!
Poor Rodney, he's never gonna live it down.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:41:32 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks. Glad you liked it. :-)

No, I don't think the poor man is. :-(

[info]crystalheaven

April 13 2005, 22:36:16 UTC 7 years ago

Oh... My...GOD!!!! I laughed for a good five minutes before I calmed down enough to reply to this. LOVED this.

And the last line: Carson licked his lips. “Well, let’s just say the alien did like you…. A lot.”... You are an evil, evil author. I think I may be in love. *launches into another fit of giggles*

You so totaly rock.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:45:22 UTC 7 years ago

Thank you!

I'm not entirely sure where the last line came from... actually I'm not sure where the whole thing came from come to that. Let's just say I have a warped mind, and leave it at that. ;-)

You are an evil, evil author.

Yes, probably. ;-)

[info]lifeinwords

April 14 2005, 02:27:13 UTC 7 years ago

*dies laughing*

That was excellent! I love Rodney's narration of what happened, and how obviously amused both Carson and John are.

*gives you gold star*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:54:44 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks very much. I can see both Carson and John struggling not to fall about laughing under these circumstances.

*gives you gold star*

Thank you very much!

[info]delurker

April 14 2005, 03:12:35 UTC 7 years ago

Aw, poor Rodney. *g* I really enjoyed this.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:55:36 UTC 7 years ago

I know, I'm rotten to him, aren't I? ;-)

Glad you enjoyed and thanks for taking the time to comment. :-)

[info]miera_c

April 14 2005, 03:37:57 UTC 7 years ago

I'm so loving the Ghostbuster's jokes.

And Rodney is never, ever, ever, ever EVER living this down.

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:57:05 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks. I couldn't resist with the Ghostbusters reference. I'd come up with the story idea and then when I thought it through I realised he'd look just like they did in the movie, so I had to put it in.

No, he isn't. ;-)

[info]celli

April 14 2005, 04:27:31 UTC 7 years ago

*dies laughing*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 06:57:24 UTC 7 years ago

:-) Thanks.

[info]_bettina_

April 14 2005, 07:44:32 UTC 7 years ago

Hehehehe! *g*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 08:14:08 UTC 7 years ago

Thank you! Glad you liked it. :-)

[info]ship_recs

April 14 2005, 12:44:15 UTC 7 years ago

hehe, but ewww!

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 16:33:29 UTC 7 years ago

Thank you! :-)

(Love your icon! :-))

[info]burntcopper

April 14 2005, 16:43:12 UTC 7 years ago

Bwhahaha. We have ourselves a new Kirk, perhaps?

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 16:44:37 UTC 7 years ago

:-) I hadn't thought of that, but you could be right!

Thanks for commenting. :-)

[info]silverbowl

April 14 2005, 17:06:19 UTC 7 years ago

OMG! *Dies laughing*

[info]dannylurks

April 14 2005, 17:07:43 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks, glad you liked it! :-)

[info]canadian_snoopy

April 14 2005, 22:37:57 UTC 7 years ago

*blinks* You know, I'm pretty sure that would qualify Rodney for hazard pay or somethin'.

:opppp

Poor, poor Rodney -- that was never in the poster, I'll bet, no 'go to a new galaxy, meet aliens, save the world... and get groped'.

Hehehe -- wonderful stuff!

[info]dannylurks

April 15 2005, 06:36:29 UTC 7 years ago

LOL! You could be right! ;-)

Thanks, glad you liked it. :-)

[info]maryavatar

April 15 2005, 09:00:01 UTC 7 years ago

Bwah! Alien bukkake for breakfast, aren't I a lucky girl? Thanks for the giggle.

[info]dannylurks

April 15 2005, 09:27:12 UTC 7 years ago

Alien bukkake for breakfast,

You know I had to look that up... I've obviously led a sheltered life... ;-)

Thanks, and glad you liked the story. :-)

[info]daughtershade

April 16 2005, 03:04:53 UTC 7 years ago

*is ded*

This would only happen to Rodney. So funny! He can't help his natural sex appeal! Hee! Great job!

[info]dannylurks

April 16 2005, 06:20:53 UTC 7 years ago

True, true... ;-)

Thanks for commenting! Glad you liked it. :-)

[info]chickaboo

April 18 2005, 15:54:45 UTC 7 years ago

*dies laughing* that's brilliant, Wendy!

[info]dannylurks

April 18 2005, 15:58:03 UTC 7 years ago

Thanks, Bryn! Glad you liked it. :-)

[info]claire

April 21 2005, 12:28:33 UTC 7 years ago

Ahahahahaha!

[info]dannylurks

April 21 2005, 20:27:51 UTC 7 years ago

:-) Glad you thought it was funny!
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